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November 8



Todayinah Editor Editor says, what if a German ruler had prevented the outbreak of a World War? Please note that the opinions expressed in this post do not necessarily reflect the views of the author(s). This story was published in the July 2012 edition of Changing the Times Magazine.

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In 1861, Confederate negotiators James Mason and John Slidell narrowly escape Federal arrest on the British mail packet RMS Trent but unfortunately their steam-powered exo-skeletons fail and Yankee sailors from the USS San Jacinto fish them out of the sea. A cursory inspection of their Dixie-logoed Head bags soon confirmed the sinister nature of their secret mission: to travel to London to seek diplomatic recognition for the Confederacy.

The Mason and Slidell SkankInfuriated by the combination of American disrepect and the humiliation of British technology failure Queen Vic pens an angry letter to Union Prez Abe Lincoln (pictured). Fortunately, Bert the Prince Consort was able to exert a moderating influence and when his missus wasn't watching he made a single character change in the opening sentence of the letter from "p*ssed" to "dissed".

Nevertheless, tensions continued to rise and lighter than air dirigibles were placed on standby in Britain and France. This international crisis soon threatened to escalate the American Civil War into a general conflict between the Steam Club of Great Nations. But after several weeks of tension and loose talk of war, the crisis was resolved when the Lincoln administration released the envoys and disavowed the actions of Charles Wilkes, the Captain of the USS San Jacinto. No formal apology was ever issued. Mason and Slidell resumed their voyage to Britain but failed in their goal of achieving diplomatic recognition. And nine months later at Antietam, Bob Lee's men were overwhelmed by Union soldiers equipped with fully functioning steam-powered exo-skeletons.


Entry posted by Todayinah Editor Email the AuthorVisit the Authors Web Site © Alternate Historian, 2004-.
Story Tags Click on the hyperlinked metadata to surf the site! Permalinks: Post, Day. Browse Thread: Politicians Source: Wikipedia Labels: Trent Affair, James Mason, John Slidell, Civil War, America.

Todayinah Editor Editor says, explanations of slang used above, Skank, disreputable conduct; dissed, disrespected.


Readers Comment Jackie Rose commented on 2012-06-02 23:00:27 ~ I might add that Prince Albert was chairman of the British anti-slavery society. He was thus very unlikely to give aid and comfort to the Confederacy, and his grief-stricken widow would have felt the same way.

Readers Comment Eric Lipps commented on 2012-06-02 23:02:36 ~ Er . . . "skank"? Disreputable conduct

Readers Comment Richard Roper commented on 2012-06-02 23:05:50 ~ Nope. Makes no differrent. It's a very funny story. There is a counter-factual countr-factual and history returns to its correct course. The British Peace Committee's Co-Chairs are a very nice couple called Albert and Vickie Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. As opposed to the War Party lead by the Prime Minister, Palmerston, who are utterly serious about Intervention in the American Civil War. 125,000 men have already been sent to Canada. They discover to their horror Palmerston has sent a diplomatic dispatch which amounts to an ultimatum and has to be rejected by Lincoln thus leading to war, Palmerston "forgetting" to tell the Sovereign first. A leading member of the Peace Party, Sir William Harcourt, is dispatched as Commissioner to get it back, but when he arrives at the Americal minister's house, the messenger has already left for the Atlantic Mail from Euston for the packet from Liverpool. Sir William manages to get the messenger and dispatch back as the Atlantic Mail is pulled up and thye messenger's private car shunted off and put on the next express South. The seriously ill Prince Consort personally rewrites the dispatch himself. Palmerston is carpetted and given a minutes as to what parameters his has in foreign policy. The above is what actually happened. Palmerston is dished off his Intervention and cheap cotton.

Readers Comment Richard Roper commented on 2012-06-02 23:45:40 ~ Yes, and he didn't care less. He WAS Anglo-Irish, hence the song. As they said in Germany "Sich der Teufel hat ein Sonne, Den ihr er dicher Palmerston" In Vienna they had a ball one time when the news arrived he had had to resign. You see he was the former head of the British secret service, which he had been for many years till 1828, then retained control or influence over it as foreign secretary and prime minister, and even when he was in opposition.

Readers Comment Jackie Rose commented on 2012-06-02 23:56:48 ~ More evidence of what Victoria would have done, or not done, comes from a very well-researched source called "Gone With the Wind." Rhett bluntly gives Scarlett all the reasons why the South can't win...including the fact that, "England will not come in on your side, because that fat Dutchwoman on the throne does not believe in slavery." A "Dutchwoman," of course, meant a German...and like Prince Albert, most Germans were very anti-slavery.

Readers Comment Richard Roper commented on 2012-06-03 00:13:19 ~ Yes, this is the division. Albert and Vicki are violently anti-slavery and Albert regards Lincoln as a progressive, but there is a strong War Party lead by Palmerston who are absolutely serious about and really, really intend to Intervene in the American Civil War, hence Southerners being convinced they will.

Readers Comment Eric Oppen commented on 2012-06-03 05:30:22 ~ Very steampunk story!

Readers Comment Stan Brin commented on 2012-06-03 21:57:19 ~ Steampunk is not my thing, usually. As a purist, I blow a boiler (so to speak) at stories in which a cravat is the wrong style and color, but what the heck. Regarding the death of Prince Albert, he didn't linger slowly, he died of typhus, I believe. Regarding Richard's suggestion that Palmerston sent 125,000 troops to Canada -- that would have been utterly impossible at the time. I believe the actual number of British troops in British North America to have been about 4,000, scattered from Vancouver to Newfoundland, perhaps doubled over the next few months. British intervention in the US Civil War would have been a naval war, but within a year, it would have been impossible, as Britain did not have an ironclad navy. By 1863, a US war against Britain would have been a sideshow. All of BNA would have been occupied, without serious disruption of the effort against the Confederacy.

Readers Comment Richard Roper commented on 2012-06-03 22:15:35 ~ Palmerston did send the 125,00 troops to Canada. An irinclad navy was being built, hence the quarrel with france.

Readers Comment Richard Roper commented on 2012-06-03 22:29:54 ~ I think the first task would have been the retaking of New orleans, but as I say Palmerston was dished by the Royals, the peace party and the rioting cotton operatives of Lancashire with their slogan "No War for Slavery".

Readers Comment Stan Brin commented on 2012-06-04 09:53:35 ~ There is a difference between 125,000 and 125,00 -- This was the 1860s, still an age of small wooden ships, even if they had steam engines. Most still used paddlewheels. No one had ever sent army of 125,000 men overseas. My sources say that at the most, Britain had roughly ten thousand trained troops in North America during the Civil War. Once the Rebs were on the run, the Limies would have been a walkover. An invasion of British North America would have taken some time to prepare, perhaps sixty days, but the Federals would have been able to advance on several fronts simultaneously, from Maine, Vermont, New York, and across the lakes. In fact, at the time, there was no practical way to reach what is now Winnipeg other than through St. Paul, Minnesota -- The Union Army would simply sail north on the Red River and across the Great Lakes at its leisure.

Readers Comment Richard Roper commented on 2012-06-04 10:53:57 ~ My sources say an army of that size had already been quietly assembled by Palmerston - hence the outcry in Britain by those opposed to the war. Meanwhile British warships on the China and Far east stations were moving eastwards to Vancouver for an attack on the West Coast. The War Party were absolutely, absolutely serious abount iIntervention in the ACW. The Rebs were very far from being on the run. After palmerston had had his had smacked the army was brought hom.e

Readers Comment Robbie Taylor commented on 2012-06-12 03:33:57 ~ Once the iron dirigibles were deployed, of course, there was no stopping the Mad Scientist's Brigade of Wichita...







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