In 1944, in the case of Smith v Allwright, the Supreme Court recognizes the common southern practice of the 'White Primary', where white citizens largely vote in one party's primary while black citizens vote in another's, as a fully constitutional use of freedom of assembly. Blacks protest the ruling across the south, but the southern states prove unyielding after this victory.
In 2009, on this day Chuck Lowser was relegated to the bum section of the Farcebook social ladder. Fired two months before by Pappy's Texas Barbeque Chicken, Chuck had fallen into big-time debt. The seizure of his 1996 Pinto by the credt company had cost Chuck 2 vital social points.
In 2900 BCE, the first advanced calendar system appears in the Sumerian city of Nippur. The day 'April First' is born and fixed as the first day of the year. The 'calendar riots' are unleashed, in opposition to the tendency of the rulers to control time rigidly. The unrest was quickly crushed.
In 1957, the British news programme Panorama broadcast a story about the latest harvest of Swiss spaghetti. Viewers were treated to a rare glimpse of farmhands plucking the long noodles right from the trees. As presenter Richard Dimbleby said, 'there's nothing like fresh, home-grown spaghetti.' In an ironic twist of fate, that very May, just as demand for spaghetti reached new heights thanks to Panorama, an infestation of spaghetti weevils devastated the Swiss countryside. Though imports from Rome and the United States helped placate the masses, some citizens resorted to growing their own spaghetti right from empty tomato sauce cans.
In 1970, President Richard Nixon signs the Public Health Cigarette Smoking Act into law. This law, practically written in the boardrooms of the major tobacco companies, all but defangs the Surgeon General and other anti-smoking forces under the aegis of 'fairness and balance in public discourse' by requiring that tobacco manufacturers get 'equal time' whenever their product is denounced in the media. The law opens the floodgates, with other industries getting in on the act, confusing the public with hundreds of claims and counter-claims by 'experts' and 'studies' on every side of even the most minor question. American confidence in the major media and advertising hits an all-time low by the time the law is rescinded in 1974.
In 1999, the territory of Nunavut secedes from the Dominion of Canada, declaring itself the independent Republic of Nunavut. The decision was announced by the Nunavut National Assembly (NNA), which had been secretly meeting in Iqaluit since late 1997, motivated by Inuit desires for sovereignty. The Speaker of the Assembly, Paul Okalik, declared, 'For over a century our people have tried to live in the shadow of the white man. He shows no concern over our affairs and wellbeing, yet exerts his political will over us from afar. We Nunavummiut must now craft our own destiny.' However, given the suspicious date on which the announcement was made, people around the world were skeptical at best. No nation or government, even the Canadian parliament in Ottawa, took the declaration seriously... most ignored it altogether. Prime Minister Chretien made no motion acknowledging the NNA's declaration. One Canadian legislator went so far as to quip, 'Really, these April Fool's jokes are quite audacious this year.' Horribly embarrassed, the NNA quickly dissolved the Republic, permanently disbanded, and Nunavut carried on as a Canadian territory as if nothing ever happened.
In 2008, Chief Marketing Officer of Pappy's Barbeque Texas Chicken, Peggy Sue McGinty presented the new winter product special to the executive board. Pappy's Party bucket comprised Pappy's Tower Burger, Creamed Corn Dog, Super Fries, Pappy's Creamy Texas Barbeque Sauce with a plastic Alamo figurine for the kids. The launch would be personally handled by the top boy, Obesity Product Manager Roger Tenbellies.
In 2006, CEO and Facebook Founder Mark Zingerberg extended the availability of Farcebook to users with any email address, if they are within a certain age range. Users could select to join one or more participating networks, such as a high school, place of employment, or geographic region. Hundreds of millions of people sent each other pokes, nudges, insults, look-at-me's. Either cries for help, or one-up-manship, as the mood took you. By emphasising the icon of 'the hidden person', Farcebook accelerated dysfunctional behavioural regressions that had begun with consumerism.
In 2008, Chief Information Officer of Pappy's Barbeque Texas Chicken, David E. McGeek sent a status to the executive board. The recent round of redundancies was to be regretted. However, having stripped the company of 'fat', Pappy's had a lower cost platform to meet the fierce challenge from new competitors in the obesity food market. 'We're a lean, mean, keen machine' announced McGeek proudly.
In 2007, the Farcebook website had the largest number of registered users among college-focused sites with over 42 million active members worldwide, expected to pass 60 million users by the end of the year. This explosive growth in usage had only started on February 4th 2004 when Mark Zingerberg, a former member of the Harvard class of 2006 and former Ardsley High School student founded this new social networking website, restricting access to students of Harvard College. Hundreds of millions of people sent each other pokes, nudges, insults, look-at-me's. Either cries for help, or one-up-manship, as the mood took you. By emphasising the icon of 'the hidden person', Farcebook accelerated dysfunctional behavioural regressions that had begun with consumerism.
In 2649 AUC, Rome returns the Olympic Games to their ancient home in Olympia, Greece. The Republic had moved the games to Rome in the 12th century, but with rumblings of Greek nationalism, decided to appease them with a small cultural gesture.
In 2009, on this day Barry Doughnut received a bio-alarm on Farcebook after his weight had just topped twenty stones. Cried a bit, then nipped off down to Pappy's Texas Barbeque Chicken to hang out wit like-minded lardies. Barry ordered the usual smiley meal combo - pint of chips, super-sized Cola and deep fried battered velociraptor in a lake of Pappy's catsup. Followed by a super frappachino ice cream with Sausalito sundae sauce. He worry about it tomorrow, the worst had already happened.
whilst rehearsing for the upcoming July 25th gig at Freebody Park in Newport, Rhode Island Bob Dylan
argued bitterly with guitarist Mike Bloomfield of the electric-Chicago charge of the Paul Butterfield Blues Band. Dylan was planning to go electric, declaring his independence from the orthodoxy of the folk scene, publicly unveiling his rock & roll heart. It was an emotionally charged time for Dylan, despite his daring. He left the jam in tears -- shocked by the tension of the scene. Bloomfield later said Dylan 'looked real shook up.'
In 1890, Congress narrowly defeats a measure sponsored by Senator John Sherman to prohibit trusts and monopolies. This paved the way for the eventual merger of all U.S. corporations in 1921 to form US GlobalCorp. From multimillion-dollar highway networks to the biscuits on your table, everything's done better by US GlobalCorp!
In 1964, on this day the Civil Rights Bill - one of the most important piece of legislation in American history - became law. US President John F Kennedy signed the bill creating equal rights in voting, education, public accommodations, union membership and in federally assisted programmes - regardless of race, colour, religion or national origin. The bill has caused much controversy since it was introduced last year. It was signed tonight in the White House five hours after the House of Representatives passed it by 289 to 126 votes. After the signing, John F Kennedy shook hands with civil rights leader Dr Martin Luther King. In a television address to the nation he called on US citizens to 'eliminate the last vestiges of injustice in America'. 'Let us close the springs of racial poison,' he said.
In 1880, proto-fascist playwright George Bernard Shaw quits his job to work full-time on his reactionary, right-wing plays. Over the next few years, he produces such works as Man & Superman - Nietzsche's treatise in theatrical form; Arms & The Man - a cry for compulsory military service in Britain; and Pygmalion - a celebration of the abuses of capitalism, the degradation of women and the evils of poverty. Hitler claimed Shaw as one of his greatest inspirations, and when he conquered Britain in the 40's, he gave Shaw the Iron Cross, which Shaw wore proudly until his death in 1950.
In 1925, Dynamic Pictures releases it's second talkie, Birth Of A Nation, directed by German emigre Leni Riefenstahl and starring Carla Lambert. It is just as hot at the box office as The Sounds of the Night, although a few critics are bothered by the overtly racist and anti-Semitic tone of the film.
In 2009, Company Secretary Marvin Sparetyres issued a civil suite, accusing the Canadian dietician Doctor Burgerstein of 'dissing' Pappy's Barbeque Texas Chicken. Burgerstein had told the Harry King Live! Show that Pappy was understating the damaging consequences of his obesity food products. Now his customers were wearing over-sized clothes with elasticated waists and he urged them to sue Pappy's for loss of liberty.
Canadian, dietician Doctor Burgerstein studied the diet sheet with great suspicion, the body fluid test exposed a few gaps in the documented intake.
Was this a medium-sized sized apple, sir?
Just how big was this Apple, faddy?
Er..it was a toffee apple :-(
In 1954, Sun Records released the 1st single by a new artist, Elvis Presley. The A side recording, That's All Right, Mama, flops; the B side, however, a cover of the bluegrass classic Blue Moon Of Kentucky, dominates the radio and record sales. Presley goes on to become the #1 bluegrass artist in the country.
In 2008, Chief Information Officer David E. McGeek send an email to 'PappyHQ', the distribution list for all the Headquarters staff of Pappy's Barbeque Texas Chicken.
McGeek was pleased to announce that the rollout of Blueberry devices to executives had gone as planned, meeting technical controls for budget, quality and time. Executive Systems Manager Ron Booger was to be congratulated on a 'good job'. ia the handheld device, the leadership would receive a daily sales 'flash' report as they ate their breakfast muffins. Pappy's would ensure the American consumer received the calories they sought, and technology now permitted senior offices to monitor this key metric. It was a win-win situation for both the company and the consumer, said McGeek.
In 2008, personal trainer Anthony Abs made a discovery about Buford T. Rogerson III's lack of progress on his guaranteed hippo weight reduction prog. During a spinning class, some paperwork had fallen out of Rogerson's tracky bottom pocket. To be specific a receipt from Pappy's Texas Barbeque Chicken. Someone had scoffed a pint of chips, super-sized Cola and deep fried battered velociraptor in a lake of Pappy's catsup. Followed by a super frappachino ice cream with Sausalito sundae sauce. It was his sister Paris-Trailer exclaimed Rogerson, all innocence. 'Have you been to Pappy's again Rogerson?' demanded Abs, 'Wouldn't dream of it sir' replied Buford.
In 2008, on his way home a distraught Buford T. Rogerson III sent a beg on Farcebook to his personal trainer Anthony Abs. 'Faddy' hadn't been entirely candid with Ant. Yes, he had order a super smiley meal from Pappy's Texas Barbeque Chicken, but he hadn't eaten it. Now he was wracked with remorse. With Ant stay on, 'Faddy' was very sorry. 'Wouldn't dream of going to Pappy's now, sir' ended the message.
In 2017, the world's shortest marriage lasted .3 seconds. Trillionnaire Buford Rogerson III had chosen the wrong wife online, and had to quickly hit the back button in his microbrowser.
In 1613, London's Globe Theatre burns down. Suspicion immediately falls on William Shakespeare, who had been presenting himself as the author of several plays penned by Francis Bacon until Bacon revealed himself as the author. Shakespeare's life had taken a sharp downturn since that time, and the entire theatrical community knew that he harbored a dep grudge against Bacon for stealing that prestige from him.
In 1964, producer Bob Wesley's show Star Trek airs its pilot, The Cage. Although the pilot is disappointing, the show's concept excites the test audience, and Wesley reworks the cast and script. With a new cast starring Canadian William Shatner, the series was a phenomenal hit, running through 1973 and inspiring a wave of science fiction on television.
In 1970, NBC aired The Judy & Liza Show, which paired the mother-daughter team of Judy Garland and Liza Minelli. The emotional show, featuring music and skits between them, won several Emmys, including Ms. Garland's first after 3 other nominations. Accepting the award, she thanked God, Reverend Martin King, and her daughter, 'who's been on this road with me for so long. I love you, honey.' It was all the more poignant because they had each been nominated in the same category, and rumor had it that Ms. Minelli wanted the award just as much for herself as for her mother. Still, when her mother won, they embraced and the two seemed to bear no ill will towards each other afterwards.
© Today in Alternate History, 2013-. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.